What I Learned on a Sex Retreat

Lexi D'Angelo

WRITER

CATEGORY

Last year, my fiancé, Jake, and I signed up for a sex retreat in Mexico.

Yuuup. Really.

I had recently come to the realization that I was spending so much time, money, and energy on my business, my health, and my spirituality, but not as much on our relationship.

Since I had experienced the transformational power of coaching in a wide range of areas and had witnessed its ability to take something from good to GREAT, I figured, “Hey, why not get support in one of the most important areas of my life?!”

I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities to improve what was already so amazing.

When I first uncovered this desire to partake in a sex retreat, I was scared shitless to tell Jake. Even though he already supported these other paths I was exploring, a million negative thoughts swirled through my head:

Would he think that I didn’t love him anymore or thought the sex was bad if I said I wanted to spice things up?

Would he feel emasculated or disempowered?

Would he think it was super weird and that I was an even bigger weirdo for wanting to do this?

Would he be defensive or completely closed off and would it cause a fight?

If we did do this, would it be awkward?

Luckily, some more positive thoughts also fluttered through my mind:

What if this made our already amazing relationship that much better?

What if we were able to connect on an even deeper level than ever before?

What if we fell even more madly in love with each other?

Hmm…

I kept going back and forth about what to do and how to approach the situation. Ultimately, even though I was suuuuper nervous to bring it up, I figured that the positives were worth taking a risk for.

So I approached the subject with Jake and, while he was a bit confused at first, to my pleasant surprise he received it well and said he was game (just another lesson that you don’t know unless you ask and that you can’t get what you desire unless you take action on it!).

And off we went!

We signed up and showed up, and at first, we were kinda like, “What the fuck did we get ourselves into?!”

But we took the leap and decided to be present, and I’m so glad we did – oh my god, we learned so much!

I discovered so much about myself. I realized how much I felt the need to be in control all the time, that I didn’t know how to just relax and surrender. This was true BOTH inside our relationship and inside of my business. I was controlling too much instead of allowing myself to be guided by what lit me up and my passions and pleasures.

Jake also says his life was completely changed because of this experience – he has a new view of his role in the world, respect and appreciation for women and their cyclical nature, and an understanding of how to better communicate with me. Really, his whole perspective has shifted.

Because of the retreat, Jake and I are more connected than ever, which I didn’t even think was possible. But I’ve been able to embrace every part of myself, and Jake has a better understanding of who I am as a person and how to honor and support me in ALL my facets.

We left that retreat pleasantly surprised and fulfilled!

Plus, throughout the retreat, my business was doing amazing. Sales were coming in that I wasn’t expecting. It made me a true believer in sex magic—but more on that another time. 😉 

Looking back, I believe the universe knew I was claiming my desires.

When I spoke my truth, I became a magnet for attracting all of my desires in my life – my relationship, my business, everywhere. And after all, it shouldn’t have come as as surprise because everything is entwined!

I walked away fully trusting that when we lean into our edge and do the things we’re most scared of doing, it often leads to the most rewarding experiences. And that when you TRULY take the time and energy to go deeper into a certain area, the possibilities become limitless.

This is part of why I’m so excited about the Fully Activated Woman experience. This is not a normal program. It’s all about putting yourself outside of your comfort zone and committing to explore all these different areas of your life. Because when you activate ALL of them, that’s when the deep transformation happens and that’s when you become a magnet for attracting ALL of your desires — in a way that’s easy and effortless! If you’re ready to take this leap, I’d love to be your guide on this wildly magical adventure. You can request an application here.

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Lexi D'Angelo

Love + Spice,

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