I’m not gonna lie—comparisonitis (you know, comparing yourself to everyone inside of your industry and feeling totally inadequate as a result) has infected me more times than I even want to admit. I wish I could say that I only felt this in the beginning of my business journey, buuut it’s come up for me over and over again in different shapes and sizes.
When I first started out, I felt like a complete and total mess and wondered how the hell everyone else seemed to have their shit together. I felt like I was the only one struggling and I couldn’t understand why.
Then, I went to an event with incredibly successful coaches inside of the industry (we’re talking business owners who had reached multiple 6-figures and 7-figures) and I saw someone that I had totalllllly put on a pedestal completely break down.
I had to do everything in my power not to stare at her in bewilderment because here was THE “it girl” in the coaching world struggling. My mind was blown. I felt a huuuuge wave of relief wash over me as I realized, “Of course. She’s simply human. And so am I. I’m not alone. Phew.”
But then something really unsettling happened.
Even though I knew there was some serious shit going down for her, everything in her life and biz continued to look so stinkin’ perfect on the outside.
And she wasn’t the only one who I witnessed this happening to. As I began to surround myself with more and more industry leaders, I came to realize how much of a disconnect there was with the shiny exteriors of their businesses and the REAL behind-the-scenes of their lives.
It was confusing, to say the least.
Although I instinctively felt that this was so NOT okay and we needed more transparency in the industry, I was terrified to be the one to step up and do so. After all, the people I respected and looked up to were not modeling transparency for me. It seemed like the unwritten rule was that you had to keep it positive and be “aspirational” in order to be a good leader.
In fact, I was told more times than not that, “You should never air your dirty laundry and share something that you’re in the middle of processing. You should wait until you have it all figured out and then share your lessons.”
That felt weird and super off, but I ignored those feelings and tried to keep up the “perfect” look for my business and brand.
But soon, the shit hit the fan in my business.
After doing launch after launch, I was burnt out AF, and only wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. I woke up every morning not wanting to do anything in my business, which was so unlike me. And weirdly enough, this came right after hitting 6 figures in 6 months. I thought everything would be perfect after hitting that goal, but instead I was the most miserable I’d ever been in my business. This threw me into a HUUUGE spin of confusion, questioning, and uncertainty.
Meanwhile, how the F do I authentically share with my audience?
I didn’t WANT to show people I didn’t have my shit together and I was scared out of my mind to let people in on the REAL story. But, I knew hiding the truth wouldn’t serve me OR my community.
So I shared—ALL of it.
The confusion, darkness, chaos, uncertainty. And I didn’t mask it with rainbows, unicorns, or sparkles. I let people in on the fact that I was in the middle of processing everything and I had no idea where my business would take me, but if they felt this way or had in the past, they were not alone. I wanted people to know it was NORMAL to go through these periods in your business and it shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of.
The response from my tribe was BEYOND anything I could have ever imagined. I received dozens of comments and emails thanking me for sharing and keeping it real. Women told me that because of my story, they now felt like they had permission to share their truth and create the life and business they desired. Not to mention, my total dream clients reached out to work with me.
The moral of the story is leadership does NOT equal looking perfect.
In fact, leadership is about having the courage to share ALL sides and shades of you and empowering others to do the same.
Tell me, how are you stepping into a leadership role in your biz?