Have you ever dimmed your light because you were worried about making someone else feel bad?
All too often, *this* is what’s keeping women from being truly lit up.
There have been a lot of times in my business and life when I’ve done this too.
When I first started out, I was in a program with a lot of elite coaches making a lot of money. Originally, I felt really, really inspired by them. I had one friend in particular, my best friend in the program, who was hitting $10k months already.
But as the group continued, things started to shift.
As I went on to hit $10k…$20k…$30k months, my bestie was always at the same point or a little behind. And maybe because this program was sooooo focused on these money metrics, things started to get a little awkward.
I felt like our friendship started to get all weird and wonky.
I don’t know if this was true, but to me, it felt like I was starting to develop all these magical things in my life and business that she was uncomfortable with.
And because I cherished her friendship so much, because she was so important to me, I felt like I needed to downplay my success around her and that I couldn’t share my celebrations with her.
It was a really difficult situation that, going forward, made me kinda scared to really own the fact that I DID have this thriving business that *was* pretty successful in a really short amount of time.
All because I didn’t want anyone else to feel bad!
But here’s the truth—we get to shine as brightly and sparkly as we want to.
Us shining brightly does not dim anyone else’s light. On the contrary!
When we shine brightly ourselves, when we are fully expressed, and really get to show up in all of our power…
THAT’S when we inspire and empower other women to do the same. That’s when they activate their own light. It creates this magical ripple effect that can be felt through the world.
One thing I know my own clients do say about the masterminds and group programs that I create, is that there is never, ever this feeling of comparisonitis or competition between the women participating. I work hard to make sure I foster a really safe and loving space, where the women know they’re in it together, no matter how much they’re making or what’s going on inside of their business.
We rise together, and that’s a really special aspect of the groups we co-create together.
I really do believe that when we diminish our light in any way, we’re just shrinking, hiding, *and* making it okay for other women to do so as well.
Another area where I find myself doing this is inside of my personal relationship with my now *husband* Jake (we got married 5 days ago and holy shit it was all sorts of magical!). I have a phenomenal relationship with him and I literally feel like the luckiest person in the entire world to have him. But I’ll downplay it when someone talks about how perfect we are for each other, since I don’t want people to think that I’m bragging.
But the truth is we have an incredible relationship, and I’m so grateful for and proud of it, because we’re very conscious about how we create our relationship and how we treat each other.
I think that by sharing that more, and showing it in a way that says, “Tthis is possible, you can have this,” it opens up possibilities for other people.
I truly believe that by shining your light and really owning your power, you’re showing people what’s possible for them and making the world a better place by doing so.
This also means fully celebrating and acknowledging other people’s light. Even if you’re feeling a twinge of jealousy or feeling the comparisonitis.
Jealousy can be a directional to show us what we really want.
If you see someone and instinctively think, “Why don’t I have that?”…use that as an indicator to check-in to see if that’s really something you want for yourself, or just another shiny object. If it’s the former, let it serve as a directional for what you desire to attract.
And of course, thank them for showing you what you desire and that it is possible and available for anyone—aka YOU!